Moving On

This past Sunday marked our four week anniversary with Oliver, and what a joy he is is.  With so much loss and sadness since losing my dad on November 5th and then Wesley on January 18th, it’s hard to believe that you can shake the incredible amount of sadness & emptiness you feel.  But with life comes loss.  With loss comes pain, and often, hopelessness.  And it’s not something my husband or friends can take away.  It’s there.  I acknowledge it, and yes, sometimes I cry in the closet.  But, by allowing myself to accept that unconditional and unwavering love that only a rescue can provide, well, life does move on.  And we grow…..we move forward.  

While I would do anything to change the course of events since my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer in July 2017, I do believe that everything happens as it’s supposed to.  Why?  Maybe to move us closer to who we are and what our purpose in life is.  Maybe, just maybe, they were here in our lives for the time they were supposed to be.  My dad lived to be 80 years old.  He had a lot of health issues throughout his life, but we shared such a special relationship and spent so much time together.  I know a lot of people don’t have the kind of relationship I did with my father.  For that I am forever grateful.

And then our sweet, sweet Wesley.  My intuitive told me that Wesley came into my life to open up a part of me that had been closed for a long time.  That his “work” was done in his previous home and he was here for me.  She was spot on.  When we lost him 368 days later, she told me he couldn’t be here any longer.  If he was I wouldn’t be able to move forward and open myself up to receiving love and accepting help.  

She was right.  Boy was she right.  

The course of our lives is filled with experiences that make us who we are.  I’ve learned a lot in the past year.  With love, comes loss.  Always.  With hope, comes despair.  With success, comes struggle. We can’t have one without the other.  

When we posted on social media that we were adopting Oliver, who was a puppy mill rescue, I was concerned that people would think it was so soon after losing Wesley.  But then I realized, it doesn’t matter what ANYONE thinks.  My heart was open and ready to fill the rest of this little man’s life with nothing but love!  I didn’t realize how much I had to give until I realized how much I had lost.  It’s all part our your individual journey. It is indeed the circle of life.

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parisigirl

ACE Certified Personal Trainer, Mad Dogg Spin Instructor, Yoga Teacher Trainee

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